I'm a huge Mel Robbins fan.
The first time I heard her TED talk about the '5 second rule' I was hooked. She is one of the best teachers we have around that knows how to take really hard life concepts and break them down - she gets me. I like her style, her honesty - and even though she swears a bit, I feel like she can talk from experience.
When her next book came out, I decided to challenge myself - to a 7 day 'High Five' Challenge.
In case you haven't heard, the idea is that you give yourself a 'high five' in the mirror every day and give yourself a little encouragement.
Being a publicity stragegist and cheerleader of human kind, I thought this was right down my alley. In fact, I was pretty sure I would ace this self-appointed challenge.
Yet, I learned over the past week... sometimes the best cheerleaders are the worst inner critics.
And while I have only just started reading the book, I can put a hand on my heart and say 'I did this High Five Challenge for 7 days and it works. There is something to this. It changes my energy and I'm going to keep doing it...
I kept a mini journal and scribbled down my thoughts after each day, and here's how it went..
Day 1: I forgot to high-five myself this morning. Remember after brushing my teeth at 9.30pm. Exhausted. I glance in the mirror quickly before heading to bed. Tonight, I just take a break and stare at myself in the reflection. I raise my hand and say 'You got this'. I sob. It's a release. Of all the things I seemed to be holding onto. To be fair, this week has been hell, as we had a sudden death in our family, so it could possibly be the worst time ever to start a new self-love habit... or is it? Maybe this is just what I need. The sob came quickly and left quickly. Breathe. Brush my hair. Flip off light switch. Immediately feel more peaceful. Just a little.
Day 2: Morning, getting ready for a coaching call. My face is done. I look in the mirror, hold my hand up and give myself a 'High 5' and say 'You got this'. Feel nothing and okay all at the same time. Weird.
Day 3: Hard day. I nearly forgot again. Go to bathroom, tired and in my pjs I look in the mirror. 'You got this'. Cry for a minute. I sleep well.
Day 4: Morning High 5. I am tired. But I feel more steady and calm. My mind has stopped racing in the mornings with my usual 'must do' and 'why haven't you' monogloue...
Day 5: Night High 5. Instead of looking at myself and thinking what I 'should have' done, I took my hand to the mirror and said 'You did good'. Breathe a sigh of relief and feel peaceful.
Day 6: Look at myself in the mirror. Usually my gaze goes straight to my stomach, the part I am most unhappy about right now. Today I actually smile at myself and feel kinda grateful for this body that I usually criticise. Hand up on mirror. 'You got this'. Felt like I was speaking to a friend.
Day 7: Actually looked forward to this morning and seeing myself in the mirror. Feels more natural and more like 'Me' when I do the High 5 now.
Reflections..
- It's never a good time to start your self-love journey. I had planned to start this week journalling my progress, but life threw us a very sad curve ball. While it was the last thing I wanted to do, it may have been exactly what I needed during this time.
- Self-love is contagious. My three year old is high-5ing me and others all the time now - and saying 'I'm a winner!'.
- It's a simple tool but one I will definitely keep using.
- I teach people how to 'become their own cheerleaders; but I recognised my inner-game needed some TLC - we all need this.
- It's not life changing - it's ENERGY changing. When you start to change your approach to yourself from: you aren't doing enough to 'you got this' it changes your entire state. And when you change your energy - then you can take the next steps to change your life.
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